Nourishment

It has been a while I know. Hopefully I'll get back to blogging on a more regular basis. Just a short note for now.

Tonight we had a session at stake conference. Before the show even started, they had laid out a big refreshments spread on a few tables in the back of the cultural hall. Said hall was also being used for overflow seating, so the food was nearby and ready for the taking. As soon as I saw it I thought, "How hilarious would it be if midway through the meeting someone just got up and helped themselves to a plate of food and then went and sat back down?"

Second, during the closing prayer, the pray-er asked that the food would "nourish and strengthen" us. Now I know prayers are sacred, so I don't want to cross the line, but here goes anyway. You are asking for cookies, fudge, brownies and punch to be good for our bodies? It just always cracks me up when people ask for desserts and other sweet snack type food to be healthy for our bodies. Almost like asking for "no harm or accident" before a church ball game.

Loving Wings

Last night at the show Dave dedicated a song to his wife. That got me thinking about all the women I have dated and especially about those I wanted to marry. I had a long elaborate post planned out, but as I sat down to write the thing I couldn’t figure out how to say what I feel. I do know that all the women I dated, and some that I was just friends with, are all amazing. Somehow I have had been able to convince these women to date me. Still trying to figure that one out. Those that are married have great husbands [who are way better for them than I ever would have been] and those that aren’t one day will [and those guys will also be a way better fit than I ever could have been]. I don’t regret any relationship I have had. There are things I would go back and do differently, but I wouldn’t change who I’ve dated.

Anyway, I have heard Dave talk about his daughter as he announces a song called “Butterfly” but and his sisters occasionally, but I have never heard him talk about his wife in relation to his music. So when he dedicated this song to his wife I was a bit taken aback. I had heard the song a lot, but paid more attention to the words last night. The song stuck a cord with me and describes how I have felt about the relationships I have had. As the song was ending all I could think was that I hope to someday find someone with a pair of Loving Wings.

"My heart was made of broken bones
My soul a bag of stick and stones
Then you along this dusty road
Have come, my love, to take me home

And I give to you my everything
Because you've given me these loving wings
And angels have all gathered 'round
To hear me sing my love out loud

You lightly lifted me away
Out of a darkness cold and gray
And I work beneath the midday sun
A cold blue water, you have come

And I give to you my everything
Because you've given me these loving wings
And angels have all gathered 'round
To hear me sing my love out loud

So take your place here next to me
And I'll take my place there next to thee
No matter how far we may roam
It's by your side I make my home

And I give to you my everything
Because you've given me these loving wings
And angels have all gathered 'round
To hear me sing my love out loud."

-DJM

Gorge 2008

Labor Day Weekend has usually meant one thing over the past several years: a trip to Wenatchee, WA. It is a small town in central Washington with some pretty amazing scenery. It is right along the Colombia river and pretty close to the mountain ranges of Western Washington. There are some great golf courses around the area, and some of the best hamburger joints in the country. But the real reason I have been here every Labor Day Weekend for the last 6 years is that the Dave Matthews Band has an annual concert series just down the road at the Gorge Amphitheatre. Last night was my 15th show at the Gorge and it was one of the most unusual shows I have ever seen of DMB. About 10 days ago, their saxophonist, LeRoi Moore passed away. It was pretty unexpected, and the Band and fan base was fairly shocked. DMB played 4 shows after his death, and then canceled two shows this week to attend the funeral of their brother, friend, and band member. Last night was the first show back after the funeral. The mood in the air was definitely somber.

Before the show started my brother and I talked to one of our friends who works on the crew. He said that the week had sucked. They had flown across the country for a funeral, and flown back across the country for the shows at the Gorge. Not only were they exhausted from the travel, but they were emotionally drained from everything the had to deal with during the week. It was pretty amazing they were able to put on a show, and play as well as they did.
The first night about midway through the show they put up Roi’s photo on their video screens and just stopped everything. The crowd went nuts. Throwing glowstick, chanting out “Le-Roi, Le-Roi,” screaming; things were just wild. I had a pretty good view of the stage and it looked like the band was trying to have a moment of respect for Roi. I think the crowd went beyond anything they were expecting, and at one point Dave was looking to calm a few people down. This went on for about 5 minutes, and in the end it was a nice moment Roi.

The second nice tribute they had for Roi, and they did this all three nights, was to have a video montage of photos and video of Roi growing up and his time with the band on the video screens during the encore break. The music they set this to was the song #34, which is purely instrumental and really features Roi on the horns. That was actually really cool to see glimpses of Roi off the stage and see what he was involved in before the band started.

And finally, on the second night they sang a song called “Sugar Will.” But on this night Dave had changed all the words except for the chorus and made the song about Roi and his life. It was pretty awesome, and hopefully I’ll be able to track down a copy of it somewhere online.

Apart from the shows, this was surprisingly a very emotional weekend for me. I found myself on the verge of tears often. I know why, but I was surprised at how strongly I reacted and how powerful the emotions were. For the past several months I have been working compiling the photos we have of my dad and getting them in a book. A few weeks ago I decided to try and put the life history he wrote in the same book, and so I have been going through his life history and editing it. Nothing too major, just fixing some misspelled words and correcting some basic grammar. But I have spent a lot of time thinking about my dad and how much he means to me. [Side note. Growing up he used to edit all my school papers. It was a bit surreal to be editing his history. The role reversal was unexpected and an interesting experience] Now, a lot of Dave’s songs deal with death and God. So after spending all that time working on Dad’s history, and then being at a concert that was a tribute to the fallen band member, it brought out a lot of emotion. I found myself thinking more about Dad this weekend than I have in a long time. It was a good experience, but an emotional one.

The second reason this weekend was so emotional is that the songs Dave sings that aren’t about death are about love and relationships. This weekend, way more so than at previous shows, those songs spoke to me quite a bit. Dave has such a unique way of writing and describing love, and there were several moments were I caught myself thinking about past relationships and what might have been. I’ve loved and lost more than once, each time the end has been quite painful. But the love I’ve felt during the good times is greater than the pain that comes with the end. And if the possibility of an ending and the pain the comes with it is what you have to risk for the beautiful times, then that is a risk I am willing to take.

"You and me, have a better time than most can dream of, better than the best…. whatever tears at us, whatever holds us down, and if nothing can be done, we’ll make the best of what’s around. Turns out not where but who you’re with that really matters. And hurts not much when you’re around…"
-DJM

Steady as We Go

So I haven't posted a blog entry in a long time, and I have more interesting things to blog about, but lately relationships have been on my mind.  And today I heard a song I like by none other than The Dave Matthews Band. I have heard it before, and always liked it, but for some reason today the lyrics stood out to me.  So here they are:

I'll walk halfway around the world

just to sit down by your side

I would do most anything, girl

to be the apple of your eye

Troubles they may come and go

but good times they're the gold

So if the road gets rocky, girl

Just steady as we go

Any place you wanna go

you know I'll be next to you

If it's treasure, baby, you're looking for

I'll search the whole world through

Troubles they may come and go

but good times they're the gold

So if the road gets rocky, girl

Just steady as we go

When the storm comes you shelter me

When I don't say a word and you know exactly what I mean

In the darkest times you shine on me

You set me free

Keep me steady as we go

So if your heart wrings dry, my love

I will fill your cup

and if your lead gets heavy, girl

I will lift you up

Troubles they may come and go

but good times be the gold

So if they road gets rocky, girl

Just steady as we go

shine on me, baby

-Dave Matthews 

Stupid is as Stupid Does

Saturday I might have done something stupid. I had arrived in Rio de Janeiro on Friday night, and I was ready to go out into the city and see a few of the sights. As I stepped out on the streets from my hotel, the first person I saw asked me for spare change. I realize that I don’t look like most everyone else in Rio, but there are a few things you can do to minimize people asking for handouts. One is to look like you don’t have money. That morning I had put on my watch out of habit, and since it is all metal and shiny, I decided to take it off. There were a couple of street kids on the corner; the best word for them is mulekis. Anyway, they saw me taking off my watch and one of them approached me and grabbed my shirt and said something that I didn’t understand. I don’t know if he was trying to speak English, or just be quiet, but I understood the fact that he wanted to rob me of something. At the same time he was grabbing at his waistline, I think to imply that he had a gun. Based on the way his shirt and shorts were so loose to his body, I figured if he had a gun it had to be really small. Anyway, as he continued to imply that he wanted me to give him something, I just flat out told him “no.” I said “no” once or twice more, and he let me go and walked away. The way he left was pretty interesting. He was really upset, but not with me. It was almost as though he was ticked off as himself for not being more intimidating and not having more success in the attempted robbery.

I guess if he had really pushed the subject and actually shown me a gun, I would have reacted a bit differently, but in the moment I just figured he wasn’t that much of a threat. I spent the rest of the day shopping for souvenirs, and went to the top of Pão de Açucar, or Sugarloaf Mountain. The views from up there are awesome and it was pretty amazing to see all of Rio from that vantage point. This part of the world is a pretty amazing place with all the juxtaposition of amazing natural beauty against the sprawl of mankind, as well as the contrast of the rich and poor. Still it is an amazing country, and I love coming down here any chance I get.

10,000 Spoons when all you need is a knife

On the way to the Airport in Campinas I saw a church called “Evangelical Church of New Jerusalem.” The church wanted to be as accurate as possible in their assertion of being the Church of the New Jerusalem, so they had built a very cheap imitation of the gold top of the Dome of the Rock. Am I the only one who finds it ironic that a Christian church is using a replication of one of the most holy Muslim places in the world as their symbol?

Strange

Most of the people here in Brazil I am meeting with are able to speak pretty good English. That said, a majority of the time we are speaking in Portuguese about a variety of topics. I have actually been pretty happy that when I have a meeting they feel I understand well enough that they don't default to speaking English. That said, it is intersting that we can have an entire conversation in Portuguese, and then at the end they will say something like "I'll be back in 5 minutes" but they will say it in English. Really? After an hour of only speaking Portuguese you thought that phrase would be incomprehensible?

Maybe they want the practice, which I totally understand, but I still have to laugh to myself every time it happens.