Too Much....

I am not sure why I find events at church so blog worthy, but something about large group settings create opportunities for me to find humor in the proceedings and happenings that occur. Today was no exception.

During the first meeting of the day, two cell phones went off. Now I am sure that the owners of said cell phones did not intend for their new (or old) ring tone to be heard by everyone else in the meeting, but things happen. Granted, it was a distraction, but I didn't think it ruined the meeting by any means. In fact, I thought some of the speakers took more away from the meeting with their various stories.

Anyway, afterwards, one of the members stood up and chastised everyone for not turning off their cell phones before entering the building. She mentioned that over the last few weeks she has been keeping track of how many times cell phones go off and the number was "off the charts." Really? Off the charts? You mean to tell me there isn't a chart big enough or with enough capacity to contain the number of cell phone rings in a one hour period? I didn't realize the capability of charts was so limited. I thought for sure we could track down a chart that would go up to at least two. Maybe even three if we look really hard.

I shouldn't be so hard on the girl, but I think it was her tone that really irked me. She then went on to say something along the lines of "Please turn off your cell phones so that those of us who are here to fill our lamps with oil can do so." I guess I don't believe that the cell phone offenders want to "fill their lamps" any less than the rest of us do. I just think mistakes happen sometimes.

If only I had the girl's phone number. I would call it every week during church just to make sure she had her cell phone turned off. How awesomely ironic would that be.....

Day Dreaming

Today David Neeleman announced he is going to start an airline in Brazil.  I found myself thinking "I should email him and figure out if he needs any help."  Nevermind the fact that I am just an Analyst, have never met the man, don't have any idea where the company will be based, and don't have any experience starting an airline, but in my mind I was a perfect fit for his new venture.  If any of you know him, put in a good word for me, will you.  

Politics....

So I don't claim to know much about politics. In my office and amongst a majority of my old classmates, I would be near the bottom in terms of political knowledge. This year, either due to me making more of an effort, or just being surrounded by it, I have become a bit more aware of the various candidates and what they stand for and the current political story of the day. First, in the interest of full disclosure, let me say that I was born and raised in Utah and was there during the 2002 Olympics. That being said, I was never fully convinced Mitt Romney was the best man for the job. Not that I like any of the other candidates any better, but I after reading some of the comments Romney made, I just felt a bit uneasy with the idea of fully supporting him.

That said, one of the things I have found most interesting was the amount of coverage Romney's religion received. That point was made even clearer in the past few weeks with the "scandal" involving Obama's Pastor. Obama's church, the Trinity United Church of Christ, has some interesting statements on their web page, yet I have yet to see Obama be asked to define his religion and what role it will play in his Presidency.  I have always thought that the differences in what was in the media was due to bias in the media.  I think I am wrong.

I hate to apply stereotypes, but it is the only way I can explain this difference in my mind.  Mitt Romney positioned himself as the King of the Conservatives. The portion of the vote he was trying to win is typically a very religious segment of the population, and their religious views are very influential in what they consider to be politically correct. Whereas Obama is King of the Liberals, and is trying to win the votes of a segment of the population to whom religion almost never defines their political views.  I now believe that the Media wasn't biased, but they were reporting the aspects of the Candidates candidacy that were important to there respective political bases

I don't know if this is truly the case or not, but it allows me to believe the media is still objective and is not trying to exert undue influence based on the implied trust the receive from the American public.

Eye of the Tiger....

Tiger Woods didn't win today. This is the first time this year that sentence applied to a tournament that Tiger Woods played in. Much has been said about the his winning streak, and the form and dominance that Tiger has obtained thus far this golf season. In fact, he looks so good on the course, that most Sports Writers have already mentioned the fact that "this could be the year Tiger Woods wins the grand slam." That is pretty amazing when you think about it. The first major of the year is still two weeks away, and people are already talking about Tiger winning the grand slam. You would at the least you would wait until after the first major, and then talk about the chances the winner has of winning the next three, but not with Tiger. With him the conversation starts a month before the first major.

I bring this up not because I am a big Tiger fan. I think he is an amazing golfer, but I wonder how many golf stories and shots I haven't seen or read because of the amount of coverage Tiger receives each week. I bring this up because I am amazed at how well the other PGA professionals have handled his dominance. A prime example occurred last week at the Arnold Palmer Invitational. On the last hole, Tiger Woods sank a 25 foot birdie putt to win. Who did he knock out of first place? Bart Bryant. What did that putt mean to Bryant? It meant that he would not have enough points to reach the top 50 and qualify for the Masters. It meant he didn't have a PGA Tour victory that would qualify him for the Masters. It was a difference of $400,000 in prize money. And the reaction of Bryant when hearing the roar of the crowd indicating Tiger had made his putt for the win? Something along the lines of "Man that guy is good." I don't know about you, but I think I would have reacted differently.

A lot has been said about Tiger Woods, but not enough has been said about those he competes with. The rest of the field has witnessed one of the most dominant players in the history of the game win 64 times in the last 11 years. That is 64 out of roughly 440 total PGA Tour events. That means Tiger has taken home more than 15% of the total possible trophies. I am not sure how many events he has played in, but it is possible he has a higher win percentage than the batting average of most major leaguers. I am surprised we haven't heard more of "If Tiger wasn't around, I would have won X number of times." Or "If it weren't for Tiger, I'd have been number 1 in the world for X weeks." Or "If Tiger wasn't so good, I'd be with Elin." It must be frustrating to continually see the same name at the top of the leaderboard Sunday night, and it is a sign of the maturity and graciousness of the other professionals on tour that we don't hear more people complain or whine about the dominance of Woods. Indeed, if Tiger wasn't around there would be a number of differences in the world of golf, and I think we should give more credit to those on the course with who continue to compete and give it their best to get in Tiger's pathway into the history books.

Too Smart

I found out that my sisters family got a new TV recently. It was my 7 year old nephew who informed me of this new toy sitting in their living room. The reason he brought it up was because this TV has a feature where, as he explained it, multiple people can have a set of favorite channels. This meant that all the kids could pick their top four channels and program them as their favorites. Want to know what he picked? Check it out:

1. Discovery Channel
2. History Channel
3. Animal Planet
4. Disney Channel

I don't know how many 7 year old kids would have Disney as fourth on the list and Nickelodeon not even present. I can understand Discovery Channel, but the real surprising one to me is the History Channel. Apparently his older brother had a similar list, while the older brother had ventured outside the mold and included ESPN and ESPN2.

Sometimes I feel like I am falling....

This has just been one of those weeks. I've almost walked into my leasing office and bought out my lease. I have almost gone to Brazil. I have almost walked into my managers office and put in my two weeks notice. I have almost done a lot of things. Most of which seem like a great idea until I actually thing about the fallout that would occur. This is one of those weeks where I just want to get away. Go somewhere familiar to me, yet that still has places to explore and crowds to hide in. Where I can disappear and be forgotten about, where the people that I talk to don't know me and don't care about where I've been or where I am going.

The good news is that my washer is now finally working without leaking water, so at least I can have clean clothes should I ever decide to act out on my fantasy escape plan.

H20

A few weeks ago I was doing laundry and after washing my clothes I noticed a small amount of water under the front of my washer. It was a small enough amount that I wasn't overly worried about a leaking washer, but enough water to where I made a mental note to be on the lookout for more water. The next time I did laundry water again made an unscheduled appearance at the base of my washer. I called the landlord and they arranged to have a new washer delivered to my apartment.

Today I used said washer for the first time, and just as the spin cycle was finishing up, there was a knock on my door. A handyman who was doing some remodeling in the apartment downstairs was outside ready to inform me that water was coming through his ceiling directly below my washer. I guess my new washer didn't solve the problem. The weird thing is there is no visible water on my floor under the washer at all. Now I am starting to think there might be a leak in the drainage pipe. Guess I'll find out in the next few days.

Reverence?

Today at church I sat behind a couple. Apparently, they are that into each other.  They sat and snuggled all during the meeting, air kissing, air eskimo kissing, playing with each others hair, making little inside jokes, giggling, and basically engaging in all manner of behaviors that are sickening to all those not in the first two weeks of a relationship. (Disclaimer: I have no idea how long they have actually been together, but it seemed like they were in the early stages of "I- like-you-ness")

This could have been distracting behavior, but I didn't mind all that much.  Until the end of the meeting that is, and then they crossed the line. A moment that should have just been a private deal between the two of them turned into a moment that was shared with me and whoever else behind me was watching.  At some point, the girl actually popped a zit on the dudes forehead and then rubbed whatever zit goo got onto her finger off on the shoulder of his shirt.   That is wrong on so many levels, but how that got on the list of things ok do to in church during a service is a mystery to me.  A mystery I hope to never personally have the answer to.

Genius Idea of the Day

Situation:
You call Customer Service of your "favorite" utility/service/travel/government agency, and after going through 26 different sub-menus you are placed on hold while a customer service agent becomes available. You end up on hold for anywhere from 5 minutes to 6 hours while simultaneously being subjected to awful hold music, pointless repeating ads, and breaking out in sweats over whether your cell phone battery is going to last long enough.

Solution:
After filtering you though all 26 sub-menus and deeming you worthy of speaking to an actual human being, sub-menu 27 should allow you to enter in the phone number where you wish to be reached. Then when it would be your turn in line, the company calls you back and you are immediately greeted by the friendly voice of a customer service agent. How awesome would that be?

Go ahead - someone take my idea and make it reality. I don't want any of the credit, just the ability to avoid being put on hold.